there is substantive difference in age that happens some time menopausal for lack of a different way of nailing it down, in a literal and figurative way ones vision changes among other things
how and what one cares for changes
and one has the years of experience–now the amber of wisdom–as part of her breastplate
and for the first time in our lives we are private unto ourselves citizens no longer inherently involved in the good of the whole
none of this news but it informs our interactions with you, and unaware, you are at a disadvantage, you are lost
Calling the Kettle Black
Tank top and shorts it was hot as hell he had no hair by choice metal studs through his scant eyebrows eyes that didn’t dart but didn’t look either tattoos like brands on his arms good ink well done and on his calves under calf length white socks.
He twittered ducked rather than shrugged and looked to his boss who laughed more than giggled but just the same, when I asked “what do the tattoos on your legs say?” gave the side slide nod. “White pride,” he shrugged now. “I did it before. That’s why I cover them up...don’t want to go to jail,” he mumbled.
Young now. Young when he did it. Probably in jail. Done and undone, neither at his behest. Forgive him father for he knows not what he is doing.
We talked a lot after they left. Kept the doors open wide not only to dry the carpets they’d just cleaned. Paul adamant they couldn’t return. And my being a Yid notwithstanding needing some steps in between–to speak up; standing for notwithstanding–his pride our belief in difference, neither were self-evident.
What is becoming as chilling as the murderous rampage is the vicarious frenzy we would be whipped into and the incredible lack of understanding of mental illness and the attendant bureaucracy. Not to mention that it is harder to get booze than guns and that any madman can get his hands on guns which it doesn’t go without saying have no other purpose than killing people and that Virginia’s gun laws are the leanest in the country. Ironically though its commitment laws, requiring ‘imminent’ danger, are the most restrictive. I bet ploughshares to swords that changes before the gun laws.
"1. have fun
2. you can't have fun if you're trying to be cool
3. you have to be able to see the truck or truck equivalent from the water
4. when it's time to stop, stop but never quit."
8
They went nowhere fancy. He didn’t want the distraction. Or the falderal. And it wasn’t amends. It was soup and pasta with red sauce, bread and uncomplicated house wine. And booths. Mediocre but wholesome just the same.
He was amazed at her nonchalance, wondered if she was ready for what came next. But as these things went it was too late. They were there.
She was not to blame he was sure he played his part but he’d never met a woman who knew her way around the brink and Jen was no exception. He would blame her for that.
17
I know lots and nothing about it. An intermediate beginner is what I am. Lots of familiarity. Lots of vicarious expertise. But little experience of my own in spite of having played the violin for at least as long as I was married the first time. He gets frustrated with me. That I can’t make immediate sense of “3rd finger 5th fret 2nd string”or when I cannot repeat the rolls he shows me just listening to them. Me too. But that’s where the beginner comes in.
And the for having listened all my life not really ever having heard.
18
The camelias are blooming a nice refrain after having plucked and tossed the many once frozen now rotten lemons. The days are spring like and the urge to make haste into the garden is terrific, but we resist. It may yet freeze or flood again. Instead we brave the plants laid waste. Meanwhile I’m getting it, perhaps I did after all learn some things: the inevitability of scales and other exercises; learning new and refreshing old repertoire; sight reading and looking ahead; becoming more familiar and–llike any good love affair–after the first blush, the ups and downs of making way.
it's a whole new thing now. it's a deering john hartford with a wooden tone ring and a clear head with a pop off resonator and it's beautiful. wowza, it informs everything...
not being an adult child of a wastenot wantnot upbringing i'm left nevertheless with the feeling of not wanting to waste the hardwon wisdom gained and gleaned of having been party to and part of this the ongoing sterwarding of asit turns out notonly OurMother in her transiting years but ahyes the legacy and concept of family...and some of what it distills down to starts taking shape...
the when of it all
the why should i of it all
the what of it all
decisions and decision making
the poa and team
the executor and team
on the team and/or off the team
the family
the community
(and ah yes those pesky) feelings
the overarching pr-oh-cess
costs
returns
family defaults (wow there's at tleast a triple header i never intended)
it was in the end a thing of beauty...the party night of our house taking down passing on moving out cotillion on a blustery winter night
in the middle of october for crying out loud and wasn't our timing just right for moving out for getting out for alliealie in free wow and everyone is coming along nicely in the figuring it all out department--one wonders what one will do with all this context specific wisdom...write a how to book or perhaps contrive a reality tv progrm, oh yes there we go...
so we gave little party favors to all who came
but fact is it all came together in the end and much of the legacy was passed on to a youngster in the our her community of chosen kin, the daughter of one her dearest friends who is just buying a house...and the piano guys came slicker than slick and the guy who finally agreed to take the stair chair and other household aids had a partner who lived around the corner who came to pick all the stuff up for crying out loud again and we sold books and best of all left the rest of them there at the store who will then pass them on to some hospital charity sale
and then all of a sudden it--the house selling selling sold done--all came to an end, the end
and i flew home
wow what a concept
and she, ourmother, is transiting my natal sun
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Recent Comments
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Barry said:
[this is good]I'm glad you posted this. Sounds just like Paul. read more
on asked and answered -
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trialbyfire108 said:
you might appreciate this as well... it's my take on the role that we, as "innocent bystanders," have played in... read more
on ploughshares to swords -
Barry said:
[this is good]You're making me want to pull out my bass guitar. No floods yet... or is it still too early to... read more
on making way
on asked and answered